Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
