sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
