I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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