all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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