my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
