dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
