I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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