At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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