The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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