its not stalking. its research.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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