i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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