you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
