I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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