Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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