You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
