Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
