Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize