nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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