I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
