I'd wear matching sweaters with you
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
