She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
