Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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