I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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