for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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