I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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