He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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