I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
