I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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