I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
