the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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