OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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