In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
