It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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