can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
