I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
