I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just sent this text using only my big toe
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
