Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
