My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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