I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
