They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
