I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
