So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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