five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
