i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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