I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
