Cold hands, warm shart.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Come on in and take your pants off
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