Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
