I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
