I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
