Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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