The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
