OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
