my being single is dangerous.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
