Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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