he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
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